About us

Hi, we're useless.

Utterly Useless is a tiny US app studio with a big soft spot for cute characters.

All six apps

What we make

Small, character-driven apps for everyday stuff: drinking enough water, staying close to your person, knowing your cycle, outsmarting the urge, having someone to talk to, and making room for a calm daily practice.

How we make them

We design, draw, build, translate-wrangle and support everything ourselves. Every app gets its own world and its own little cast, because life is more fun with a sarcastic lemon on your side.

What we promise

  • No ads. Not now, not later.
  • We collect as little as possible and never sell your data.
  • Clear privacy policies, written in actual human language.
  • Health numbers come from published sources, not vibes.

The name?

Our apps are only useless if you never open them. That's the joke. That's the whole joke.

Say hi See the apps